It’s like the earnest and eager Boy Scout who helps the little old lady across the street when what she was really trying to do was figure out which bus to take. The Boy Scout feels wonderful and documents his act to accumulate points for an award. The lady has to make her way back across the street unassisted, braving traffic and start over, having perhaps missed her bus. When one insists on providing unsolicited “help”, ignoring protests that help is not needed one is not really helping but hindering.
Some people need help and ask for it or don’t. Some people don’t need help, don’t want help but get unsolicited “help” that hurts.
The Setup
We waited in our apartment in Sevilla on Friday morning with our four giant suitcases, a backpack, a shoulder bag, a computer bag and rolled up art work in a cardboard tube. Antonio and Rosa, who manage about 25 apartments arrived promptly as expected at 10:45 with two bags of clean sheets and towels to set up the apartment for the next tenant due to arrive at 1:30. We had packed our belongings and cleaned the apartment way better than we received it. We were looking forward to getting back our 200 Euro deposit and departing by 11:00. We had planned to walk slowly the two short blocks to the little trolley that is a sad attempt at mass transit as it only goes about eight blocks from Plaza Nueva near our apartment to the bus station. We had tickets for the 12:30 bus for Rota, a little less than a two hour ride south where there is a naval air station with military flights back to the US. We, especially Karen, wanted to take a few minutes, stand near the cathedral, take a few more photos and have closure with Sevilla. Our eight weeks there have been a very memorable experience and we wanted to say a quiet goodbye. We had over an hour and a half to go eight blocks to the bus station so there was no rush.
Making an Exit
By about 10:50 we had received our deposit and were saying our goodbyes to Antonio and Rosa and making small talk in Spanish about our possible return to Sevilla and to one of their apartments. Antonio, seeing how much luggage we had insisted on “helping”. I explained and demonstrated how the two biggest suitcases have four wheels and can be pushed while pulling the other two. Karen and I planned to do what we had done for 16 days in Germany and France as well as upon our arrival in Sevilla, each take a pusher and a puller, hanging the other bags over the suitcase handles and moving it all by ourselves. It really is quite manageable and we had done it many times without “help”.
Antonio took the second largest suitcase and headed for the door. I thought he was just going to help us out into the hallway. We got to the elevator and disregarding our protests he got in with our suitcase and held the door, motioning for us to join him. OK, I think he just wants to help us out to the sidewalk. Outside he began to walk away with our suitcase. We protested more but it fell on deaf ears. He repeatedly insisted on “helping” and repeatedly declared "Vamos".
“Help” Starting to Hurt
I was having a vision of an old lady being dragged across a street against her will. Antonio marched out ahead of us, pulling a four wheeled suitcase on its two back wheels instead of pushing it on all four wheels and marched to the taxi stand. I was pushing and pulling and Karen was pulling one with a free hand intended for the one Antonio had. He arrived at the taxi stand a good 50 yards ahead of me and 50 more ahead of Karen, instructing the driver to begin loading our bags.
Trapped! In hindsight, after Antonio left we should have paid the driver a couple or Euros for his trouble, walked across the street to the trolley stop where I would have guarded the bags, and let four or five trolleys go by. That would have allowed Karen to have her closure with Sevilla. It all happened so fast and was so confusing we were flabbergasted and just rolled with it. You had to be there to understand.
Here is the last photo Karen was able to get from the taxi window as we were pulling away and headed for the bus station.
Sometimes I think we are too nice and polite for our own good.
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